Friday, May 27, 2005
Summoning
A Distant Flame Before The Sun
I sit beside the fire and think
Of how the world will be
When winter comes without a spring
That I shall ever see

I sit beside the fire and think
Of people long ago
And people who will see a world
that I shall never know

I sit beside the fire and think
Of older times that were before
I listen for returning feet
And voices at my door

On high above the mists I came
A distant flame before the sun
A wonder ere the waking dawn
Where grey the nordlands waters run
In elder days and years of yore
-Talon faced death at 7:50 AM

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Thursday, May 26, 2005
Well well well... it has come to the point past no return. Im officially moving on to a new company. The 30th of June would be my 1st day over there. I've yet to talk to my current manager though... but i do have an appointment to chat with him ard 3 today.

As for the moment... i'm stoning. Been awake the past 2 nights till 3 or 4 , i just ate lunch, the air-con is set pretty low and i've got nothing to do.... all ingredients for a good sleep... *yawn*
-Talon faced death at 1:45 PM

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Monday, May 23, 2005
Ahh nothing like finally having recovered. Adrenaline.. check. Testosterone.. check. Evil.. Check. =) Yeap back to my old self muahahahaha. Gotta complete my Java report though. After that i might just go out fer awhile to study... can't stay at home. Too much distractions to study at home.

Tomorrow would be the big resignation day. Gonna hand in my letter and thats that fer Ingram Micro. I'm sure news is gonna spread like wildfire. And i'm sure theres gonna be ppl askin me where im going and all... i hate it when that happens. Maybe i should just hold a meeting n tell everyone o_O.

Damn a whole lotta stuffs been changing this year. Things are definately not normal. Change is a good thing though.. without change life would be very boring. But too much change and you won't even recognise yourself.
-Talon faced death at 12:08 PM

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Saturday, May 21, 2005
Damn feel like crap. Think i partied too much at Vintage last nite.... Im not sure if it was the drinkin, the food which i ate... (spicy fried rice with lala), The instant food i heated up at 7-11 (Briyani and sandwiches) or maybe it has to do with this lizard that landed on my arm with weird black and yellow-spotted skin. Or maybe its all of them. Feel like i'm dehydrated and have a fever. Felt crappy at class... couldn't concentrate much either. And i got a blister on my toe.

When it rains, it pours.
-Talon faced death at 7:43 PM

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Friday, May 20, 2005
Star Wars sucked so much i don't believe that was George Lucas' work!

Things i really hated/ couldn't swallow:
1) The Battledroids all had whimpy voices... how do you expected to inspire terror in your enemy if your soldiers all sound like that? ( I know he wants to inject abit of humor into it but i dont think this is the way)

2) How the heck did R2D2 get so agile? (Maybe he went fer training in the Matrix)

3) The Jedi massacare wasn't much of a massacare

4) Ok you have to keep in mind that Jedi would rather watch someone who just got their legs chopped off burn in volcanic lava rather than end their life there and then.... theres Jedi mercy for you.

6) Oh my got the medics are so competent.. lets just put the charred body of Anakin into a suit withou cleaning him up 1st.. thats healthy

7) I know the CG is state of the art but its still not there yet

8) Darth Vader "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" (when i heard this i felt like going WAAAAT THEE FU*****KKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!)
-Talon faced death at 7:51 AM

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Tonights the BIG nite!! Just a few more hours away and the last of the great sci-fi saga will unfold before my very eyes. At last the time has come to realise the fate of the 2nd Star Wars trilogy. I must say.. its been a trialing few years... this 2nd trilogy still can't match the classic trilogy. Its not that i'm against CG but the thing is CG just hasn't come to a level where my eyes can be tricked into saying.. 'my god this is so friggin real!' Yes we have come a long way but its still not real enough for some reason. Ah well... im tryin not to think so much and just go there to enjoy the show.
-Talon faced death at 1:32 PM

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*pant* *pant* now that i got that outta my system..... I got the new job!!!!!!!!!!! Im having mixed feelings though. I feel guilty but happy. Excited but nervous... I wonder if i'm doing the right thing.... alotta ppl say i am doing the right thing by leaving cus i probably could get much better pay in another company.

I've managed to clear a whole chunk of jobs since Monday. woohhooo.. theres only 1 more outstanding case tats scheduled for next Sunday.

Man i dunno how to break it to my manager... what should i do????? I dunno how to write a resignation letter!!! I'm freakin out!!!.. nah i'm not... my mind's just in a mess. What do you mean my mind's in a mess?? Dude you're a mess. Riiiite.. well if i'm a mess then so are you!! You wanna step outside n settle this??!! I'm gonna kick your ass man! riiite... you n whose army?? Me and this ARMY!... *walks out to the balcony and looks at the great army of darkness assembled*...

.... Okkay... now back to reality.. i'm bored. =S I cant wait fer Star Wars!!! Im so in anticipation of the Jedi fights... those are gona be awesome!!! I wonder how Yoda ended up in Dagobah. And why is it that little area of that swamp in Dagobah is strong with the darkside of the force? Hmm hopefully i'll have all the questions bugging me answered tomorrow =D
-Talon faced death at 2:51 PM

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Monday, May 16, 2005
Arrrr i dun wanna wake up dammit... sigh work again. hmmm my blister still hasnt stopped hurtin... makes me wish i could regrow that skin rapidly to pad up the below part of me toe. Hmmm i might just be able to finish early today... theres a thought to brighten up the day. =) Still waitin fer a reply from Frontline regarding the job. Wonder what kind of a salary they're gna try to offer me. The next few weeks are going to be abit chaotic at work... too many LSP cases pending... why you may ask?... its cus im the only engineer available to do them! Gettin tired of this...
-Talon faced death at 7:38 AM

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Speaking of evil.... http://evil-guide.tripod.com/
-Talon faced death at 11:06 AM

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005
No man is without fear. It is how you deal with tat fear which decides where you stand.
-Talon faced death at 11:00 AM

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What is true evil? The inherent nature in all of mankind. That which some struggle to fight against and others succumb to with all their heart. As the ages pass the line between good and evil has become so thin that it has camouflaged itself in the garbs of doing good. To some, killing someone in the name of good might be the right thing to do but to others, killing by any other name is still killing. Beating up a child may be justified by saying that it is done in the name of discipline but others might view it as abuse.

And so doing good is now a matter of perspective. In some countries drugs are legal but others they deem it illegal. Laws in different countries are overated. Laws are not necessarily the way and the path to goodness. They are but a set of rules which are defined by the government to control the mass. The mass follows and the country moves forward like a well oiled engine. Dare i say the same thing about religion. The thing about rules and laws is that they are just a guide. To follow them thru to the end without questioning what is right or wrong is just to follow words blindly.

Can good exist without evil or vice versa? It has never proven to be so. When a country is at peace, there always happens to be some people who wish to 'improve its standing point' ( human progress they call it) and to do that, at least a little turmoil is required. Such as a scandal, a terrorist threat or a war. Creating such turmoil, often brings people together and stand agianst a common threat. Like the anti-bodies in our bodies that come together to repel virus attacks on our systems, we in turn stand together against an enemy who we term evil. But if the tables were turned, our 'enemies' would see us as the enemies.

Perhaps there is no such thing as evil. Perhaps evil is but a term that clouds the true reason for human self destruction.. a reason called fear. For was it not fear for their own lives and the lives of others that makes us want to win a fight? Or fear for the loss of money? Or the loss of love? It was fear of the dark that made man stand gaurd at thing aginast things that might creep out and take them in their sleep. It was fear of witches that caused people to burn innocent people whom they only suspect of being true witches... in fact it was for fear of the unknown that led them to burn witches in the first place! It might even be said that the entire human civilization was built on fear.

Perhaps the same can be said for good as well for if not for fear of losing someone we hold dearly would we fight so hard to protect? Would not a man go all out to keep his loved one close if he feared losing her?

Is fear the only driving factor behind all of man's emotions? Behind good and evil?... i don't claim to know it all... but perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
-Talon faced death at 9:29 AM

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Monday, May 09, 2005
At work again. This morning was abit more stressful than usual. In fact it still is abit cus i'm still waiting fer a damn call. Kiki called =P and that did make things better tho =) I like talking to her.

Classes tonight again... Marketing. What i like about business is all the things people don't usually see that happens in the background that leads to a company making a decision about something that people think is dumb. Like when installing Windows they give you terms and agreement just before you install and ask you to read through it before installing. People usually just click next and think its dumb but the real reason behind it is that Microsoft doesnt want to be held liable for anything by telling people that they've already stated all the fact about the program and it is the consumer who agreed... in other words, they're covering their asses.

AHHH i cant believe my Sunday is gona be burnt by work... theres this call i have ta take (cuz im the only one able to take it right now =( ) and its supposed to be scheduled on a Sunday =( the things thats are not too bad tho is that it shouldn't take long, its at Toa Payoh and i get OT pay. Wonder what i'm gonna do after that.
-Talon faced death at 2:06 PM

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Sunday, May 08, 2005
Hmm i've never seen my mum that happy and smile at me.... damn... tears welling up. I gave her a makeup set from Estee Lauder.... never seen her that pleased with something i gave her before... i could see it in her eyes. I was kinda shocked cus usually when i give her something, the reaction was a short thanks like a matter of fact thing... i'm happy cus i've not experienced something like that before and it's something i've wished i could have happened a long time ago... never been close to any of my parents and now suddenly when my mum opened the pressie, that great big genuine smile... brutal or not... i love my mum =~) Happy Mother's Day Ma
-Talon faced death at 8:10 PM

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Just finished my resume... hope its good enough.. =P went to this place called Walla walla last nite ta check out the house band (They're called The Unexpected). Its a nice place at Holland Village where they serve alcohol/soft drinks/food. Last nite was pretty crowded but i guess thats cause The Unexpected were having their 3rd year anniversary. Those guys are good. The vox was funny hehe she actually added in the line "buy our cd" at the ending of one of their songs =P hmm i do miss metal songs tho... the songs they played were slower paced, jazz, indie (corrected courtesy of Charlene =) ), slow rock based. After that it was Room sweet room and slumber... i still did have energy tho... the night seemed abit too short to end it that way. And now i'm awake again at the wee hours of a Sun morning.

Think i shall go shopping fer a mother's day pressie later... still wondering what ta get.

OHHHH i bought a cool new pair of earphones that has retractable wires n it comes wit a sachet that i can put my mp3 player n earphones in!! woopdeedooo! =P
-Talon faced death at 9:53 AM

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Saturday, May 07, 2005
A new day dawns
The suns up and its damn bright outside. But no matter... i'm going to watch Kingdom of heaven and then go jamming. The movie doesn't start till 1050 so i got like n hour to burn. Hmmm if i'm gonna get reincarnated into anything in the world, i'd like to be reincarnated as a single Sunset.. its short but it is glorious while it lasts.
-Talon faced death at 9:06 AM

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Friday, May 06, 2005
Life is like a vaccum cleaner.... it sux!
-Talon faced death at 10:41 PM

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Listening to the Last ride in by Greenday

You know, we sometimes live life and do things so routinely we start to forget what we are working for... what we are living for... or even what we want anymore. I used to know what i want... ( tho kinda abit tooo ambitious)... but now i'm not sure. What is it that makes a person realise that THIS is what he/she has wanted for their entire life? A gut feeling?

It occured to me that a person without something to work towards is a person just walking towards a death he inevitably knows will come. With only that to look forward to, what meaning or purpose is there to a person's life?

I dunno... i dont have answers... just more questions to make life seem more warped than it already is.
-Talon faced death at 10:25 PM

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Choices to be made... i hate choices like these. Just got headhunted by another company to join them. Apparently at this new place, they do the same things im doing now except that they get paid more. Of course with that comes slightly more jobs but all within working hours. It is soooo damn tempting.

Things that make me feel guilty for leaving my current job:
1) I told my manager that im not thinking about leaving
2) If i go then nobody would be able to handle the products that i'm handling right away
3) There IS a new guy whos supposed to partner with me to handle my jobs but if i go boy is
he gonna suffer cus he knows nothing about what i do.

Reasons why i want to leave my current job:
1) I hate my manager
2) I'm probably going to be on standby for at least 6 months n how the hell am i going to take
leave then???
3) The standby is gonna effect my studies and my personal stuff
4) THE MONEY!!!!
5) It's about time i moved.. been in this company fer more than 2 years

hmmm more reasons why i should leave. Well anyways the guys who called me asked me to email him my resume and prepare my resignation letter by Monday. I have to admit that the money is very attractive. Could get alotta stuff... hmmm.

There was once our Director told us that the company does not owe us a living. If we feel we can do better elsewhere then we should go ahead. My ex-manager (who left the company) also said something similar. I guess leaving would just be a matter of time and i shouldn't feel guilty about it cus in the end we all work to get money and in the end its the money that truely matters where a job is concerned.

What i'm gonna find very hard to do is to break the news to my manager tho... *sigh* ah well... anyways its not that i got the job yet... i still have to go fer the interview.
-Talon faced death at 9:54 PM

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You are Form 5, Dragon: The Weaver.
"And The Dragon seperated the virtuous from
the sinful. He tore his eyes from his sockets
and used them to peer into the souls of those
on trial to make a judgement. He knew that
with endless knowledge came endless
responsibility."
Some examples of the Dragon Form are Athena
(Greek), St. Peter (Christian), and Surya
(Indian).The Dragon is associated with the concept of
intelligence, the number 5, and the element of
wood.His sign is the crescent moon.
As a member of Form 5, you are an intelligent and
wise individual. You weigh options by looking
at how logical they are and you know that while
there may not always be a right or wrong
choice, there is always a logical one. People
may say you are too indecisive, but it's only
because you want to do what's right. Dragons
are the best friends to have because they're
willing to learn.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by

-Talon faced death at 11:22 AM

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Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk aloneI walk alone
I walk aloneI walk a...My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk aloneI walk alone
I walk aloneI walk a...My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ahAh-ah, Ah-ah

I walk aloneI walk a...
I walk this empty street On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
-Talon faced death at 7:30 AM

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Tuesday, May 03, 2005
You can make most of the people happy some of the time, some of the people happy most of the time but you can never make all of the people happy all of the time.
-Talon faced death at 11:22 PM

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Wasn't a good day today. :(
-Talon faced death at 11:20 PM

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Sunday, May 01, 2005
IT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRIGGGGIN HUMID!!! Wnet jammin yesterday n just before i stepped in the MRT i took a look at the sky n there was NO sign of single cloud in the air!!... the tortures of living so close to the equator. Hmm gig wasn't that good... not much of a turnout and not many people headbangin... as predicted by Kasimir =P That band from Penang was interesting tho... the drummer was holding the stick like jazz drummers do and the rhythm/vocals was using a left handed guitar... (isnt the thickest string on a left handed guitar supposed to be on the top most just as it is on a right handed guitar?)

Dinner last nite was... how shall i put this.... barbaric =P hahaha we bought a whole chicken from carrefour n ate it hahaha good thing we had sense ta buy loadsa tissues =P n extra bottles of mineral water.

hmmm no plans fer today yet... feel like watchin a movie but no shows that im really tempted ta watch.
-Talon faced death at 9:21 AM

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