Thursday, April 20, 2006
Was not ever....

It was in poly that the shell i wrapped myself in started falling apart. My circle of friends started to grow, i dared do more things that i wouldn't dream of doing earlier in my life and more things seemed possible to me. I embraced Metal completely as the music tat i couldnt live without for the rest of my life. But my beginning here meant an ending to my old life. Nevertheless, I met another close friend, Mark, who shared many similar interests as me. So much that we even skipped classes to go catch movies, get our comics and action figures... and so on.

Girls... the other major thing on our minds... the one word our raging hormones screamed out whenever our radar detected one in close proximity. They were out there alright but there was never one i could get close to... until the final year that is. Anyways... im not gonna go into my love life. Lets just say somethings are best left untold and unknown.

My poly days where the times i will always remember that i started to be self aware. Suddenly i felt that i had great power. It was the beginning but still everything has to start somewhere.

Movies were a major event at that time. I watched every single screening. Be they in English or another Language (except Tamil of course). I had movie marathons where we watches 3 or 4 movies a day. I watched movies alone when no one wanted to. And once id exhausted all movie options... id just wait for the next one to come. The life of a movie addict.

Yes, i enjoyed this life immensly... but often i looked over my shoulder to see the impending peril that was still to come. This was only the calm before the storm of National Service.... to be cont'd
-Talon faced death at 12:53 PM

--

Sunday, April 16, 2006
What came to pass....

My life in Toh Tuck Primary as i said before lasted only 2 years. Why did i leave? I hated the place and the teachers. I was asked by my principle why i chose this path and i simply told him it was cus the upper primary students were not the kind id want to mix with. Yeap this was lying at its infancy. And so i left the school (Some years later, i visited the place... it was being demolished for an American School. I walked the empty halls remembering the past with fondness but that was all the past was... to be remembered)

The last 2 years of my Primary School life was spent in Bukit View Primary. A much bigger and newer school. As with my past 2 schools, i had to start anew. New friends, new teacher to get used to. I was starting afresh. i met with the same problems though. Tamil for a start sucked as usual. My Maths skills was at n alltime low. During this last 2 years, one of my major skills that came to pass was the art of lying. Yeap, it had grown and saved my skin from alot of needless caning from my parents for the lousey test scores. But all things considered i managed to pull through my PSLE and the next phase in my eduaction started at Bukit View Secondary School.

I met an old friend from Toa Tuck there. I didn't meet him till the Sec 3 though. There were 2 sessions and i was in the morning while he was in the afternoon. It was around this time that the opposite sex had roused my curiousity. Girls... ,one of the great mysteries of the universe at that time, alongside black holes and god. Yet i couldnt put myself to a position where i could go ahead and ask them out. Well as i've said, i wasn't a social person. My Math skills again started to deteriorate but my English and Art got better results. History and Geography wasnt that hot either but i had a knack for Physics and a little on Chemistry. And as usual Tamil was at an all time low for me. It was at Sec 2 that i started mixing with more Indiam people and that was a very bad idea for someone whos had a very bad time communicating in Tamil. I recall at Sec 2, my Tamil teacher gave us all a quiz to check on how much Tamil plays a part in our everyday lives. All my answers were NO. I didnt watch Tamil moveis no listen to Tamil songs, i didnt read Tamil newspapers or books and i didn't even converse in Tamil at my house. So.. i barely got by mixing with my Indian friends. I was more like the outcast of the group... the guy who had extreemly little in common with any of them. But they were the only 'friends' i had at that time. And so i endured the crap i had thrown in my face... until sec 4 when we all got split up and i started to hang around friends from other races. They proved to be better choices than what i had previously. And that was when i met my best friend, Umar. He thought me the guitar and introduced me to Metal. He inspired me in art as well and that was when i really got attracted to art. Those where the years i hold more dear to me. It was then that i was finally home... even though it was a short time. After that my Polytechnic life came and a whole new way of life began.... to be cont'd
-Talon faced death at 11:04 AM

--

Thursday, April 06, 2006
In the beginning.....

My journey started in a hospital, then to Toa Payoh. I lived in my grandma's place when i was young. I think i led a pretty sheltered life. Mostly cus of my grandma... she used to spoil me alot... specially since i was the first born child. I always did what i was told to do since i always thought at that time that thats what makes people happy. Nothing else seemed to please my parents or my relatives. In my family, doing well in school is the only think that i ever saw that pleased them. They left you alone only when there was really nothing for you to do at all. And since going out to play with the neighbours could also potentially mean buts and bruises, the only option left was the tube... ahh yes the only place at that time that i could fly off into space and see strange new worlds, feel the power of magic surging through me as i sear flesh with plasma beams from my eyes. I guess all those years of television is what made my mind the way it is now... craving for more escapism. I vaguely remember the time when i was really sick and i sat down (television was revoked from me for that period for some reason). It was then that i found myself reading Little Red Riding Hood. Yeap that was the first book that i read and got interested in reading because of it... it also was the thing that sparked my brain to do its thinkin in English instead of Tamil fer some reason... after that day every time i came in contact with Tamil, my brain puked it out again like some foreign object. (My grandma was pulling out her hair by tryin to teach me Tamil... err.. actually so where the rest of the teachers who tried to teach me).

I went to a catholic kindergarten and was taught English and Chinese (they didn't have Tamil teachers there apparently). I only remember vaguely on what happened there... short snippets of the playground and the nursery rhymes that we were forced to sing in unison. How we all rushed off once the last bell rang to be greeted by our parents who were there to pick us up. Actually the bell thing, stuck through out my life... even now at work.. i'm just waiting for it to be 6 and im off to wherever i'm going. I was not terribly social when i was there either. I dont remember having much friends or liking to introduce myself to many people. (I've always hated introducing myself to a large crowd... feels like im putting myself on display with my guts on the table).

Then came primary school. On the first day i felt totally lost. I had no idea what to expect. No idea what to say to the hundreds of people staring at me. It was a day i felt smaller than i already was. But sooner or later i did find some friends and my life style changed. When i went to school i knew which group to look for fun n laughs n games. But that still didn't mean i liked school though. I was absoulutely repulsed by homeworks! and so it was for 2 years of my life at Braddel Primary School. After that i had to be transffered to another school. My parents decided to move outta my grandmothers place to Bukit Batok. I never got a chance to tell my friends. It was seamless... at the end of the entire first 2 years, i was told that i was going to some school in Bukit Batok. It wasn't a great loss i must say. My friends at school and i never saw each other unless in school. Things happened too fast for my mind to even start comprehending and even my parents told me just a week before we were officially moved out of the news. I was always the last to know.

The next 2 years in Bukit Batok, was spent at Toh Tuck Primary. The teachers here were older and didn't hesitate to hit their students... especially the Tamil teachers ( this was particularly gonna affect me cus of my allergy to Tamil..) I've always found that compared to my English teachers.. Tamil teachers were demons. They only knew how to make me miserable for my apparent disability with Tamil. I was graciously introduced to coperal punishment in this school as well. It always had to do with homework... never with punctuality or behaviour at school. Always hated homework... especially Maths and TAMIL...... to be cont'd
-Talon faced death at 5:16 PM

--